È arrivato il momento di scrivere.
Vi chiederete, probabilmente, cosa c’è di nuovo che non funziona?
Beh esattamente non so darvi una risposta. Sono settimane queste in cui mi sento estremamente stanca: sarà la scuola che si fa sentire, le mille verifiche e le mille interrogazioni che non vogliono darmi tregua, saranno quei professori che mi mettono angoscia solo a vederli.
Ma sarò anche un po’ io. Io che non I go so well.
I need a bed to sleep and wake up only when out of the storm is over.
few days ago in front of a plate of penne with salmon, they said "In between, maybe you are that you've changed this year."
changed me, but why?! Sometimes I convince myself that these people who keep telling me that in me there is something different, something that is positive for some other not, have not so wrong.
But then what would be so strange thinking, which is perhaps the world around me to be "changed" and I the only one left myself?!
My life is not more than a year ago, no one in doubt about this. A few evenings before falling asleep, when which thoughts crowding my mind preventing me from chaotically that fateful press "OFF", some memories have increased the sense of fatigue, heaviness that lives in me.
I have a friend who for more than a month is not talking to me, one of those people deemed "essential" and you will not find a reason because all this could have happened, friendship is over without even realizing it. My friend has become worse than a stranger, a of those you see every day and not yours, one of those that do not find anything familiar, much less something of those memories that haunt you: hugs on the stairs a school of gray smoke cigarette after a set to burn love over, hours of glances of understanding, nights of music and alcohol to forget, to give joy afternoons with our laughter, hours on the phone just to say, " I'll always be here for you. "
And then pafh, tutto svanisce, il cronometro viene azzerato, il nastro riavvolto e si ricomincia tutto da capo, da perfetti estranei, da persone che non hanno condiviso nemmeno il più breve secondo.
Ma cosa sarà successo in quella pausa?!!
E così mi sento un po’ sola, alleggerita da persone che mi hanno reso vuota, insieme a poche altre che sono rimaste, sempre loro, sempre perfette, e insieme a troppe altre ancora che troppo poco conosco e troppo sento lontane per poter dire non sono sola: ci sono anche loro.
Ieri ho rivisto una persona che ha abitato per qualche momento in my life so strange and immediately asked me, and between how you doing?!
And you know what?! Not me neither hot nor cold will arrive in front, or rather the more I looked, the more I realized how those times, when he was there, they were far, far away and what that person had little left in me. How little that figure had now affected the person I became. As it was only one of those guys for just 14 15 years that affect everyone, those who come and go so fast that they have no time to hurt, do not even have time to leave something behind, to leave a 'impression of their passage. Then you realize that there are people who never looks the other hand, and I mean never - because this is one of those few times that you can use that word- with indifferent eyes. Will be few or many, will certainly be people, friends and boys, which have had your first child and then your teenage years. Those who might meet on the street and walk over, but you still remember that great that you do not give up and you're saying, I grew up with them and although no longer part of my life, something their remains, something that may simply be that game so stupid that you did every day after school.
I do not know how this life quali siano le regole per poter restare in gara, ma a volte sembra così strana, così complicata, a volte ti sembra che sia così difficile, eppure non sai che dietro a quella difficoltà se ne nasconde un’altra, ancora più grande quasi sempre.
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